Expectations vs. Goals

Have you ever noticed how easy it is to get disappointed when our “Expectations” are not realized? Several years ago I worked in a sales profession where we were required to set “Goals” every year. These goals had to be both realistic and huge enough to make us work harder than we would otherwise. I can assure you, in that profession, I never reached all my goals. But, they gave me something to strive for and helped me to make more money.

In thinking about the difference between Expectations and Goals, it occurs to me that the greatest difference is in the ‘after-effects.’ When our Expectations are not met, the result is usually anger, disappointment, sadness, and/or disruption in our closest and most meaningful relationships. Whether I am doing something in my profession, participating in some kind of recreational activity or watching my favorite team play a game, my frame of mind and my disposition are greatly affected by whether or not my Expectations are realized.

Goals are usually determined after some intentional thought and planning. Expectations however, usually result from my SELFISH-Ambitions. When I am disappointed in another person it is probably because they didn’t “perform” according to my standards. Or if my team loses then I am affected negatively. My day-to-day life or my identity is not affected at all but it still has a negative or positive impact on the way I “feel.”

Could it be possible that Expectations are cleverly disguised “Self-Will” indicators while Goals are carefully crafted plans to create positive, powerful change in our lives? (and in the lives of others!) I am certainly not suggesting that we can ever live without Expectations. I think they are so deeply ensconced within us that we cannot escape their influence. However, I do believe, with a little discipline and planning, we can be more influenced by Positive Goals than by Unrealized Expectations. In a way, Goals are designed to be like the ‘proverbial carrot’ that are always out in front enticing us to go further, work harder, and not give up.

Do you have some well-defined, updated Goals for your Life? Are you negatively affected when your Expectations are not realized? I encourage you to take some time to honestly and accurately assess your current status in life; then determine where you are in light of where you would like to be. Make some long-term and short-term GOALS for yourself – do this for your personal life, your professional like, your family, etc. I hope you will uncover an exciting YOU that may be hidden behind some unrealized Expectations!

"Time in a Bottle"

At my current age and status in life (i.e. "Empty Nest") it seems that we talk a lot about how quickly time passes. In reality we know that "TIME" always proceeds at the same pace -- chronologically speaking. Our perspective on the passing of time is what changes as we get older. Likewise, our current circumstances seem to play a major role in how we "feel" about the passing of time. When we are really enjoying our life the "TIME" seems to pass by much more rapidly than when our journey in life is very difficult. So, we can say that our "Emotional Status" has a major role in how we view the passing of time.

My wife and I have often commented on how quickly our children grew up. It "seems like yesterday" when they were young and when our lifestyle was largely influenced by their presence in our home. In a way we are saddened by the fact that our children have moved on. Even though we have all the fond memories of their "growing up" years, it is hard sometimes not to wish things could go back to when they were younger. (And we were younger too!)

As I thought about how these times of nostalgia can bring as much sadness as happiness, it occurred to me how our perspective on the passing of time is influenced by what has already been -- i.e. The Past. It is impossible to 're-live' those moments that have passed. We can only truly LIVE in the Present! When "passed moments" are very positive and happy we can find ourselves living in them instead of abiding in the wonderment of what we commonly refer to as TODAY. When our "hopes" for a better tomorrow become less than realistic then we tend to avoid and/or miss out on what can be experienced in our Amazing TODAY.

I had no choice concerning when I would enter this 'continuum' called LIFE and I have no choice when my TIME on earth will end. But, between these two points, my choices are limitless. If you could choose between certainty in the details of your life on earth or certainty of life after death, which would you choose? To be honest, our choice on this key issue reflects our perspective on "TIME." Time is a rare and precious commodity; deserving of our best effort in each second that we are privileged to have. Maxing out our NOW involves both our past experiences and future expectations. And, by the way, you can influence what you will do forever by what you do TODAY!

{If you have time go to www.youtube.com and search for Jim Croce's song "Time in a Bottle." Listen to the lyrics and enjoy the melody as you think about your perspectives on time.}

Coming Back

I have had some ideas lately to blog about but just can't seem to find the block of time necessary to get them written. Life has been extremely hectic over these past couple of months since we returned from our Romania mission trip. I am working to build a small business while simultaneously working with a wonderful group of people in a New Church start. (cf. www.connectingpointchurch.cc)

Since it has been so long since I have written anything I thought it would be best to see if anyone is out there who might be interested in reading. I write a daily devotional thought for our website -- Monday through Friday. It is under the heading "R.A.B.U." (means Rooted And Built UP); teach a small group Bible study at Connecting Point Prince Perry on Wednesday nights; (one of our 8 House Churches) and prepare Bible lessons for our Sunday gatherings. With all this and doing manual labor sometimes for 7 to 9 hours a day, blogging just has not been on the "top" of my list.

What I really want to do is try and find out if anyone is still out there who may be remotely interested in reading things that I may write in the future. It may sound strange but I would like to get an idea of how many people are interested in reading. So, if you don't mind, just comment on this post by simply saying, "Write and I'll read" or whatever else you want to say. Also, let me know what kind of things seem most helpful to you when you do take the time to read blogs.

Thanks!

Are We Having Fun Yet?

This has been one incredible summer so far. Even with the extreme heat, God has been blessing in ways that are hard to describe. After an incredible time with "My Kids" from Sanger, Romania at our camp, we have once again seen our Young people here experience something amazing with God at their camp last week. Now, this week we are having a great time with some wonderful children at our Summer Bible camp. The children -- young and old -- are having a great time playing, singing some exciting songs, and learning some great truths from God's Word.

It occurred to me how much enthusiasm and "LIFE" children/youth bring into our lives. Each time I think that I am too old to "relate" to this young generation, I find myself right in the middle of them playing and laughing a lot. I love kids! They make me feel young and alive again. It's incredible how monotonous and boring our "adult" lives can get. The pressures and stress to earn enough money to pay our debts and provide for our families makes "having fun" a rare experience.

I was wondering how we could tap into some of this amazing energy that the younger generation have. And, why do we have to wait for Summer vacation time to get a bunch of kids together and have some good, clean fun? Life is much too short to spend all of our time working and worrying about our earning potential. If you have some kids in your life, take some time to just simply PLAY with them. If not, find some way to volunteer with some really great ministries who are offering "fun" stuff for under-resourced children. I was talking with a friend yesterday about a couple we both know who are well into their 70's but you would never know it because they have a "Young" way of thinking (and acting). They have learned the secret to staying young -- Make young people a priority. So, how "YOUNG" do you feel right now. I hope you are having a great summer and that you find some time to just have fun!

Camp Valea Verde (means Green Valley)

We have just completed a camp for 24 children in a remote location in the mountains of Romania. The scenery in Romania is absolutely amazing! Our journey to the camp location took about 3 hours by car -- not because the distance was so long but because it is mostly small, curvy roads. This journey gave me the opportunity to see parts of Romania that I had never seen before; making me appreciate the majesty of God as displayed so wonderfully in this country.

I feel like we had a very successful camp experience with the children from Sanger (and other places). AS the children were leaving this morning they were crying because we were all separating after spending so much time together this week. I have been a part of many camps through the years and this is usually the reaction. For many of these children the emotions were probably a little more vivid because most of them have never been to anything like this before (when I say "most" it may be more accurate to say "ALL"). Some of these children may have never seen the mountains or been on a vacation.

I am always impressed by the way the children from Sanger enthusiastically recite Scripture verses and the way they pour their whole selves into singing the songs. Their singing will truly bless your heart! On our final night of having a gathering with all the children I shared a very simple and direct message from God's Word about how we all need to be forgiven of our sins. When I asked for any who wanted to "Confess" Jesus as their Lord none of them responded. After this we had a time for anyone who wanted to write down a sin or some other burden on a sheet of paper and place it on a cross that we had there for them. It was moving to watch all of the children and many of the adults -- Me first -- put notes on that cross containing things that we need God to take from us.

The next day two of the oldest boys came to me and said they had decided to accept Jesus as their Savior. The final night as we gathered to celebrate I asked for these guys and any others who had decided to accept Jesus as their Savior to stand up and not be ashamed of Jesus. I was blown away when over half of the children stood up -- and they were all representing the oldest in our group! I have been doing these kind of ministry events for many years and it felt like these children knew exactly what they were doing.

These children have a difficult living environment so please be praying for them. As our team prepares to go and be with these children in their village tomorrow morning I am already wondering how many of them will come and how many of their parents will come to see what they learned. How awesome would it be to see some of these parents accept Jesus as their Savior tomorrow. Keep us in your prayers. I will update you on our sharing time tomorrow in the village of Sanger and in Betel Baptist Church in Cluj, Romania.

Back in Romania

Our team of 6 has arrived safely in Romania. We have an exciting and challenging plan for our time here in Romania this year. We are working together with some of the most dedicated Christ-Followers I have ever met to host a camp for young people in a remote location in this beautiful land. Beginning Monday, June 27, we will go to this location with approximately 30 youth and about 15 adults. Each day we will be teaching God's Word to these who will come to the camp. We will also be leading in games, music, Scripture memorization, and other fun activities.

I ask for your prayers for all who will participate in this camp. In a way we are a little anxious because we do not know exactly how things will transpire. IN the past we have only been responsible for these young people a few hours a day. This year we will have them under our authority 24 hours a day for 6 days. Please pray for safety both for the children and for our adult workers.

It is a joy to link arm and arm together with our Romanian Brothers and Sisters for the objective of sharing God's love with everyone who will be open to receive His salvation through Christ. We will not have internet while we are at the camp so please check back with this blog at the end of the week (i.e. Saturday, July 2nd) for an update on how everything went. Thanks for taking the time to read what I write. May God bless you is my prayer.

Romania Here We Come

Please pray for our Romanian Mission Team as we make our final preparations for this year's journey. We are attempting something that we have never tried on any of our previous trips. In the past we would always work with the children in the village of Sanger a few hours each day. They would come to the campus, hang out with us, participate in our Day Camps and then return to their homes. The rest of our time each day was usually spent on construction, and some home visitation.

This year we are taking approximately 40 young people and over 20 adults to a camp facility in the mountains for one week. This means we will have these children under our responsibility for 6 days -- 24/7! We are looking forward to having the opportunity to build some deeper, more detailed relationships with these young people and the few parents from the village who have agreed to make the trip with us. Most of all we are hoping and praying for the opportunity to share with everyone in this camp how Jesus Christ can become the Lord of their Lives.

Please pray for our Team; for our final provisions to be made; for all of our partners in Romania; for the young people and their families from Sanger; and for each day that we are gone on the trip. The dates we will be away from home are June 23 -- July 4. As always, please ask God to grant us safety as we travel. Like each trip we take there are some on our team who have never flown on an airplane. Also, pray for our families who will be here awaiting our safe return. PLEASE KNOW THAT WE ARE POWERLESS WITHOUT YOUR PRAYERS!

I will be trying to share updates on this blog while we are in Romania. I am not sure about internet access while we are at the camp so if you don't see anything from me from Monday - Saturday (June 27 - July 2) you will know that we don't have internet service. I will update everyone on our trip as soon as the web is available to me. Thanks from my heart for the prayers and for the financial support you have given!

Perspectives

I am currently reading through the book "The Purpose Driven Life" by Rick Warren. Actually we are studying this book in one of our House Churches. In today's assignment (Day 29) I read something that caused me to stop and think. Warren shares: "In some churches in China, they welcome new believers by saying 'Jesus now has a new pair of eyes to see with, new ears to listen with, new hands to help with, and a new heart to love others with.'" (Purpose Driven life, pp.229-230) I also thought about a song that is played often on Christian radio stations that says "Give me your eyes for just a moment..." The song's message emphasizes our need to try and "SEE" the world through God's eyes.

Can you imagine how differently our perspectives are in comparison to God's? One of our primary concerns while living here on earth revolves around our finances. Either we have everything we need and are trying to figure out what else we "WANT" or we are struggling to have enough money to meet our basic needs. There are both positive and negative mental energies consumed with issues dealing with money. How do you think God views money? Would He ever be impressed with how much "stuff" we have? How much money would a person need to have to impress God? I think it is pretty evident how insignificant money is to God. Since He owns it ALL, we know He distributes what He knows we can be trusted with.

Another topic that can occupy a great deal of our mental energy is death/dying. After recently attending a funeral for someone who truly lived out a life of Faith in Jesus, I meditated on how differently God views the subject of death than the way we look at this heart breaking mystery. The Bible actually says that it is precious to God when one of His Saints dies. (cf. Psalm 116:15) For God, death is not separation but reunion! When One of His Followers completes their allotted time on earth, death is simply the vehicle that brings them HOME to our Heavenly Father! There is so much distance between our perspectives when it comes to death.

The list goes on and on regarding the contrasting perspectives between God and those of us who live here on earth. We should invest some time searching God's Word to gain a more concise understanding of God's perspectives. As we learn more about the way He "SEES" things it will transform our lives! Are there any "troubling" topics in your life right now that would benefit from gaining God's perspective? Politics, economy, deadly storms, etc. are just of the few topics that seem to make headlines for us right now. I would love to hear how God has helped you by helping you to "SEE" with His eyes.

Thank You to Our Mothers!

A little boy was once asked by an adult what he wanted to be when he was grown. The boy smiled proudly and said, "I want to be a lion tamer." Somewhat surprised by the boy's quick and confident answer, the adult asked the boy, "Wow that's really dangerous. Won't you be afraid?" Without hesitation the little boy replied: "Of course not, my Mother will be with me!"

This humorous illustration of a little boy's concept of his Mother's limitless abilities reveals something that lies deep within the heart of most people. There is no one in our lives like our Mothers! Great world leaders and inspiring artists have repeatedly credited their Mother as the primary influence in their lives. After all, it is our Mothers who encourage us to dream and then tells us how great we did even when we blew it real bad. Our Mothers give us a place to feel safe no matter how old we are or how badly we have messed up.

In celebration of Mother's Day this weekend, I would like to honor my Mother by telling you what a remarkable woman she is. Her Dad died when she was only 12 years old leaving her Mom and 4 siblings to manage the best they could. My Mom had to quit school in the 8th grade so she could go to work to help with the family's living needs. For most of my growing up years, my Mom would ask me how to spell some words when she was writing a card or doing something for her church. She would many times say that she just wasn't smart. On the contrary, to manage a household consisting of 7 people proves that she has a level of "Practical" intelligence that cannot be extracted from a text book. Her "smartness" exceeds many who have years of formal education.

My Mom has always been strong physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. The older I get the more amazed I am by the way she has lived. She continues to be a faithful, loving mate for my Dad; a wonderful cook who loves to see her family eat; the best Mother-in-Law any spouse could ask for; and a Grandmother who is adored by all of her Grandchildren. I cannot find the right words to describe this Matriarchal Marvel of a Woman that God has given to our family.

As I think about my Mother on this holiday weekend, I am also reminded of God's providential activity in giving me another special Mom to share life with. She is the Mother of my 2 Children. She has taught me to love our children unconditionally and to be liberal in sharing the three most important words known in human relationships: "I LOVE YOU!" She is the emotional champion of our home and the reason why our children are very confident in being themselves. Now that our children have become adults, she continues to be the person they confide in, and come to for advice with all kinds of life issues. If I had of made a search of the entire universe to find the right woman to have children with I could not have found anyone better.

My life has been blessed because of these special MOMS! For them and all the other Moms out there let me say -- "HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!" I hope and pray that you really "feel" like the special person you are!

There is HOPE

Our Easter Series started on Sunday, March 27th in our Corporate Worship gathering. This year we are focusing on the HOPE that is available because of the Easter miracle. I don't know about you but it seems like the problem of 'Hopelessness' grows increasingly more severe each day. People are simply out of options concerning their economic status; their physical health; their family relationships; etc.

Many of the issues we face that can lead to hopelessness are the very things that can assist us in finding HOPE. HOPE as it is used in the Bible carries a different meaning than the way we use it so often in our conversations. Many times we use the word HOPE to signify what we "WISH" would happen. We may say, "I hope the scans and x-rays come out good or I hope the weather is good for our outdoor plans." Using HOPE in this way is more like saying what we wish for but are not "CERTAIN" whether or not it will work out the way we want.

The Bible says that we are to "Hope in the glory of God." This HOPE is as secure and guaranteed as the unchanging, never failing Glory of God. No matter what happens to us while living on earth, the Glory of God remains constant. When our HOPE is firmly resting in His Glory, it will not stop us from going through difficult times, but it will drastically change our perspective on the trial. The Bible says we should rejoice in our trials basically because each difficulty we endure on this earth makes us long for the certainty of the "glorious" future we have in Christ.

Are you living with HOPE today? Our world is plagued by Hopelessness for many reasons. No matter where you are living today, the Miracle of Easter is your HOPE! Check out our website each week for the messages we will share on Sundays about HOPE. www.connectingpointchurch.cc.

Romania, 2011

This year is flying by so fast. I just realized this morning that we only have 3 months before we leave for another exciting journey to Romania. Right now we have 6 on our team with a couple others still trying to get their schedules worked out and some money raised for airplane tickets. We have been so blessed to travel to this wonderful country 7 times since 2004. God has allowed us to complete two facilities in some very poor villages for the people to use for worship and other activities.

On this year's trip we have a unique opportunity. The village where we have invested our efforts over the past 4 years (i.e. Sanger Village) has many children. Each time we go there we host a day camp to spend time with these children. They have become very acquainted with me and our other team members. This year we are taking as many of these children that can go to a camp/retreat setting in the mountains near Cluj, Romania (a major city). We are also telling them to invite their parents to come and spend the week at the camp with them. We believe this will be a way for us to build relationships with these adults and share with them the Gospel message of Jesus' love and salvation.

Please pray for us as we prepare for this great opportunity. If we can reach some of the adults in this village during this week at camp, we hope and pray they will become part of the church that meets in their village. The challenge is great but our God is greater! WE need to raise approximately $2,000.00 to pay for transportation and the food for everyone for the week. We will also be making camp T-Shirts; taking craft supplies, etc.

Please pray for this effort. If you would like to contribute financially, go to www.connectingpointchurch.cc where you can contact us or get the address where you can send donations. Just make sure your check is marked for Romania Missions! Thanks.

Connecting Point Church Update

It has been a long time since I posted an update on this blog concerning the progress of our New Church start. Our Fellowship is called Connecting Point Church. Our mission is simple: We are striving to show the love of Christ in the communities where we live, work, attend school, or any other setting where we interact with other people. For far too long our culture has viewed the "Church" as an organization. It is like a "Secret Society" that can be very intimidating for those who have little understanding of the purpose for our existence.

In these days in which we are living, the vast majority of our culture is suspicious of organized churches. While I am not criticizing either side of the "Church fence" or blaming anyone for the problem, I am very burdened that the example Jesus gave us to live by has somehow been lost in "Organized Religious Rituals."

God has given Connecting Point Church a completely different ambition. We are actually a church of many Small Churches -- we call them "House Churches." Right now we have 8 of these House Churches that are meeting in subdivisions all over our area. These groups meet at various times throughout the week (i.e. Sunday evening, Tuesday evening, Wednesday evening, and Saturday mornings). The groups are small so everyone has a chance to be known, loved and to contribute to the meetings and mission projects. Some of our House Churches are doing "Real-Time" Ministry projects right in the very communities where they live. The church is actually being "fleshed-out" where the people are who need to hear about and experience the love of Jesus Christ.

We do have a Corporate meeting on Sundays in a warehouse we are leasing in the small town of Easley, SC. The purpose for having this meeting is to CELEBRATE what God is doing in our House Churches. WE have no ambition to buy land, build facilities, or gauge our "success or failure" by how many people we are able to assemble in a building once a week. Our Sunday meetings are informal, Spirit-Filled, and "free" (by Free I mean that people are relaxed and whatever God leads us to do we do). Each Sunday we have a "Community House Church Spotlight" so that everyone who is Partnering together as Connecting Point Church can see what is going on. It will hopefully inspire others to get involved in our House Churches or open their house for a new group.

After being a Pastor of two traditional churches for almost 20 years, I cannot tell you how refreshing it is to be part of something God is doing that is real, relevant, and very exciting. I can't wait to see our people each Sunday; to hear about what God is doing in and through our House Churches; and to experience God together. I have the privilege of being a Servant-Leader of the greatest group of people I have ever been associated with. For that, I am truly grateful to God!!

Happiness as Related to PURPOSE

In this post I want to pick up on the concept that I believe has a direct bearing on reaching and maintaining some variation of "HAPPINESS." I do believe that, ultimately, our Happiness is contingent on finding and living out our "PURPOSE." Just saying the word 'Purpose' opens the door for debate about all kinds of things like Origins, Intelligent Design, Creation vs. Evolution, etc. Regardless of our beliefs on these delicate issues, every thinking person would have to agree that there does seem to be some sort of "order" to the chaos we call "life on earth."

One of the most influential books of recent times (in reference to the millions who read and testify to being changed by the book) was written by Rick Warren and is titled "The Purpose Driven Life." Warren makes the simplest statements about how our life on earth is actually "DRIVEN" by our PURPOSE. Until we understand our Purpose (which has more to do with who we are than what we choose), our life will not make much sense. When our view of the world is primarily shaped by our opinion and how we "FEEL" about the multitude of events we are forced to evaluate, finding any resemblance of HAPPINESS will be very frustrating.

Our PURPOSE for existing is both objective and subjective. To suggest that we all appear one day on this cosmic planet just to find as much pleasure as possible is both short-sighted and self-consuming. I am reading a book called "Blue Like Jazz" by Donald Miller. He talks about how he once participated in a demonstration where President Bush was speaking. He joined with others to voice his dissatisfaction with Bush's policies in foreign countries where human rights were non-existent. Upon returning home Miller admits that he did not "FEEL" content about his participation in this "march" because he was not personally inconvenienced by his so-called stand. He states how he spends 95% of his time thinking about one thing -- HIM! I propose that this is the 'natural' world which all of us live in.

When our life-choices, attitudes, "feelings," etc. are primarily determined by this self-centric approach then "Happiness" will be determined by the next 'cause' or mission that we thrust ourselves into. Our emotions will be up and down, leaving us with a hollow existence that has difficulty with the deafening silence when our head is pillowed each night. We are very astute in taking care of both our needs and most of our wants. If our understanding of Happiness stems from having our personal desires met then we would probably evaluate ourselves as somewhat HAPPY. When things in our personal life start eroding (and they do), this thing called "Happiness" starts to seem hopeless. My encouragement in this practical, yet philosophical article is to propose that we can be "HAPPY" no matter what might we transpiring in our immediate situations.

Back to PURPOSE. Finding out exactly WHY we are here is a pursuit of the masses. In survey after survey people overwhelmingly say that if they could ask God anything at all it would be: "Why am I here?" Again, this verifies our 'self-consumption.' Wouldn't it be better to ask: "Since I am here (e.g. Descartes' philosophic breakthrough), how can I better the place I occupy on my short journey through life?" When we take this approach to life our perspectives become like a kaleidoscope (with the colors and everything!). We start responding to the opportunities that have been right in front of us for a long time. As time continues slipping into the future, personal gain and accumulation of stuff takes a back seat to the task of making our world a better place. In this pursuit, our PURPOSE will find us before we ever think about finding it! Inner peace, fulfillment, even contentment becomes our inner condition. Thus, happiness is so deeply entrenched in the totality of who we are that we don't have to ask or answer the question, "Are we HAPPY?" Our daily lives are the answer!

The journey continues...

Happiness Is...

In my last Blog article I wrote about the much desired but elusive condition that we call "HAPPINESS." As I thought about what it means to find "True Happiness" or to even be able to say that we are "HAPPY," my mind was like the steel ball in one of those old-time video games, bouncing between a myriad of thoughts on the topic of "HAPPINESS." In pursuing deeper thought on this vital topic, I find myself immersed in a comparison/contrast battle between cultural views on happiness, biblical guidelines, and the influence of deep-thinkers from both camps.

Disclaimer: Before making any comments, observations, or statements regarding the topic of Happiness let me assure you that I am on a journey to find truth on this topic for myself and for any person or people group who might read what I write or listen to my "talks." The purpose of sharing both my discoveries and dilemmas is to encourage you to "THINK" about how objective truth shapes your subjective reality. As always, I hope you are able to gain from anything I attempt to articulate; also know that I can learn much from you as well. So, here we go.

In our world there is the common misconception that "Happiness" stems from satisfying our basic "drives" or "desires." Expert advertising convinces us that we need 'MORE' and 'BETTER' of whatever appeals to us. Some believe money will make us happy while others think it will come through a relationship or good health. One possible reason why happiness seems so abstract and elusive in our culture is because it is contingent on so many different circumstances that are completely out of our control.

Obviously this is a consistent aspect of life that we are not going to change. What I am suggesting is that, since we cannot control situations that have major influence on our "HAPPINESS," shouldn't we look deeper for the kind of "Happiness" that survives through good times and seasons of painful trial? If we attach our "Happiness" to things that are likely to change we can expect to experience the "emotional roller coaster" that ebbs between happy and sad.

I want to present a statement that has huge potential (as well as major difficulties in such a diverse world of thought). But, here it is anyway:
TRUE HAPPINESS IS ONLY POSSIBLE WHEN WE ARE ALIGNED WITH OUR GREATER PURPOSE! Now, before commenting on or even formulating any conclusions, take some time to really think on this statement (this is called Meditation -- a lost discipline in our noisy world).

The key words in this statement are "Aligned" and "Purpose." I recently carried one of our automobiles to the shop to have the front end aligned. The car was riding fine but the tires were wearing out unevenly. This is a sign that something is "Out of Alignment." There is a certain setting that allows a car to perform at Maximum Capacity. (We could say that the car is "Happy" when things are aligned and set to factory design) Oh oh, there's a word that many people get tripped up on -- DESIGN! I am not interested in debating theories of our origins but social structures verify that we are all uniquely designed to accomplish different tasks. Thus, our PURPOSE. (I will begin the next blog article by talking about Purpose)

Let me end this post by reminding us of the POINT: What is True happiness? And, do we have any control over our happiness? This is the journey we are on. For now, think about the information so far and I really would value your input. As my friend (and sort of adopted daughter) Angie Mizzell says often in her blog, your input makes this journey so much more interesting. So, go ahead, share your thoughts, comments, questions, etc. with me. I'm all ears (or eyes since this is a word-driven media)

Are We HAPPY Yet?

The question is simple but the answer is elusive and complex -- "Are we HAPPY yet?" I continue to be amazed by how quickly the days, weeks, months, and years pass by. The first month of 2011 passed by so fast that my 'things-to-do list' is already antiquated. In the midst of our frenetic lifestyles, I wonder how many of us are truly HAPPY! It is a question that I think deserves some dedicated introspection.

Some may argue that "Happiness" is a relative concept. In our world of synthetic reality, finding any "Common Ground" on the meaning of Happiness seems futile. Basically, what I might consider as "Happiness" may not even be close to what you consider to be 'Happy.' I think this obvious dilemma in striving to define happiness proves something very important -- we connect happiness to something that happens to us or to something that we can consume, possess, enjoy, etc. As long as I am consuming in some measure the things that I perceive make me happy, my answer to the question would be: "Yes, I am Happy!"

In my attempts to counsel with young people about the "realities of marriage" before they say "I Do," I ask them to share with me how their future spouse makes them happy. To be honest with you, I don't get too many in-depth answers. Again, this is indicative of our culture that places a high premium on personal preference to achieve our desired status -- HAPPINESS. I try to help these young, somewhat naive, couples grasp that, if another person is able to bring you happiness, then that same person can take it away.

Is there a way to find "TRUE HAPPINESS?" Is it possible for us to find "Common Ground" on the meaning of this thing called "Happiness"? Do we even want to know if our "perceived happiness" is real? Are we willing to risk the journey to identify what is meant by True happiness? Let me encourage you to take the risk and discover your "Happiness Quotient." Let me also assure you that "True Happiness" is not as elusive or "relative" as our Post-Modern world would have us believe. I am striving to take this journey myself so I will be sharing some things that God is showing me on this topic in the coming days. Please feel free to share your discoveries, insights, and struggles with me. As you can tell by reading this post, I have many more questions than answers on this intriguing topic of Happiness.

"Resolve" Insurance -- Article Five

5. Celebrate Every Win

Have you ever noticed how much fun it is to win? Everybody loves to win so it is important to recognize and celebrate any positive strides we make towards our ultimate goals. If we have a desire to lose 25 pounds, then we need to celebrate every occasion when we drop one, two, three or five pounds. Likewise, if we gain some back, we need to remember how wonderful it felt when we lost the weight so that we can get back on track.

I believe our level of satisfaction and the delight of accomplishment when we reach our goals will be enhanced by the celebrations we experience along the way. Most of our accreditation in this life is applied on the Macro scale. But, the achievements we make along the way are determined by what we do on the Micro level. If the daily disciplines we have established to help us meet our goals are things we dread each day then we are probably going to get off-track. Living each day should not be imprisonment from fun. Taking pride in the small steps that are helping us reach our goals is imperative to our success – both daily, weekly, monthly and yearly.

This past year, for some unknown reason, I decided that I wanted to run a 5k race in downtown Greenville. So, on my own, I started training. I began by running on the treadmill in the gym. At first it was hard to run very far past one mile. Then, I reached two miles and got to where I could do that fairly easily. So, I ventured up to the 3 mile mark. When I finally ran three miles on the treadmill (without stopping) I felt really good about myself. It seemed that I was on my way. Then I started running outside on the pavement and my knees could not take it. My point is this: Even though I did not run in a 5k, I still feel good about running over 3 miles on a treadmill!

In conclusion I want to encourage you to take some time and think about some realistic goals you would like to set for yourself in this New Year. Then, consider what it will take to get there. Get started and chart your progress. Whatever happens, DON’T GIVE UP! Know that I am pulling for you to win!

"Resolve Insurance -- Article Four

4. Expect Opposition

I can assure you that, no matter how much you want to reach your goals, there will be obstacles placed in your path that careful planning could never anticipate. This one fact is at the heart of all these steps. Planning for where we want to be in 12 months seems like a waste of time considering all the “uncertainties” that await us (not to mention our failure to reach sincere goals last year).

While we can’t always control the results we achieve for our efforts, we can control our Attitude or Perspective in every situation. This is not some humanistic philosophy that says we can change our destiny by mind control. On the contrary, at the foundation of this step is the realization that most things are out of our control! Accepting this huge limitation up front may be the only thing that keeps us from giving up.

As we work our plan for achieving our goals, evaluate carefully those things that threaten our continuing progress. Even if we “slip up” or miss some of our daily disciplines, regroup and start again! Whatever you do, DON’T GIVE UP! Since the topic of this particular article is to Expect Opposition, we should not be surprised when it comes. If the obstacle we face is our fault, do what it necessary to remove it. If it is something that we have no control over, weigh out your options and adjust your plan to continue in a positive direction towards your goals.

Giving up is the easy way out! When tempted to “Give Up” go back to Step 2 and revisit your “RESOLVE.” Just how determined were you before you started? How determined are you to get back on track? Sometimes our expectations produce a great deal of frustration when they are not realized. This frustration can sometimes lead to a greater desire to succeed and they can also lead us to give up quicker. The greater our Expectation level, the more susceptible we are to frustration. This can fuel our fatalism, sending us into a “thought-pattern” that will be very difficult to reverse.

We live in a “real” world, filled with “real” problems. Even if unexpected situations arise and deter our progress, don’t let them keep you from making some strides towards your goals.

"Resolve" Insurance -- Article Three

3. Acknowledge Your Weaknesses

There is a huge difference between acknowledging our weaknesses and making excuses for why we are not able to accomplish our goals. Everyone has weaknesses! That is the primary reason why we need to make improvements in the first place.

We cannot expect to overcome our weaknesses if we pretend they don’t exist. Also, trying to cope with our own weaknesses by highlighting the weaknesses of others is common (and may seem helpful for a while) but will never help us accomplish our goals. Also, if our goals are being motivated more by what others think about us than our own self-awareness we may be disappointed even though we are successful.

No doubt many of the changes we would like to make in this New Year are recurring from past years. If this is the case, sit down and try to list all the reasons why you may have failed to reach your goal in the past. If there are certain weaknesses that seem to always set you back, try to change the circumstances that highlight these weaknesses. Here are some questions to ask yourself (and be honest with your responses):

• Why do I give in to these weaknesses?

• Is it my fault or just my reality?

• What definite steps can I begin today to help me “Overcome” these weaknesses?

• How long should it take before I see progress?

Another important step in overcoming our weaknesses is to disarm the ones that have defeated us in the past. These weaknesses may hold our past failures over our head. This creates the fatalistic conclusion that we can’t change the way we have always been. Any negative influence our past mistakes or weaknesses may hold over us are self-inflicted.

The major change that we have longed for is closer than we think. Once we acknowledge our weaknesses, disarm them, and chart a plan to overcome them, we are on our way to making our dreams become reality! While merely thinking we can make it will not get us to our destination, how we think is critically important.