"Resolve Insurance -- Article Four

4. Expect Opposition

I can assure you that, no matter how much you want to reach your goals, there will be obstacles placed in your path that careful planning could never anticipate. This one fact is at the heart of all these steps. Planning for where we want to be in 12 months seems like a waste of time considering all the “uncertainties” that await us (not to mention our failure to reach sincere goals last year).

While we can’t always control the results we achieve for our efforts, we can control our Attitude or Perspective in every situation. This is not some humanistic philosophy that says we can change our destiny by mind control. On the contrary, at the foundation of this step is the realization that most things are out of our control! Accepting this huge limitation up front may be the only thing that keeps us from giving up.

As we work our plan for achieving our goals, evaluate carefully those things that threaten our continuing progress. Even if we “slip up” or miss some of our daily disciplines, regroup and start again! Whatever you do, DON’T GIVE UP! Since the topic of this particular article is to Expect Opposition, we should not be surprised when it comes. If the obstacle we face is our fault, do what it necessary to remove it. If it is something that we have no control over, weigh out your options and adjust your plan to continue in a positive direction towards your goals.

Giving up is the easy way out! When tempted to “Give Up” go back to Step 2 and revisit your “RESOLVE.” Just how determined were you before you started? How determined are you to get back on track? Sometimes our expectations produce a great deal of frustration when they are not realized. This frustration can sometimes lead to a greater desire to succeed and they can also lead us to give up quicker. The greater our Expectation level, the more susceptible we are to frustration. This can fuel our fatalism, sending us into a “thought-pattern” that will be very difficult to reverse.

We live in a “real” world, filled with “real” problems. Even if unexpected situations arise and deter our progress, don’t let them keep you from making some strides towards your goals.

"Resolve" Insurance -- Article Three

3. Acknowledge Your Weaknesses

There is a huge difference between acknowledging our weaknesses and making excuses for why we are not able to accomplish our goals. Everyone has weaknesses! That is the primary reason why we need to make improvements in the first place.

We cannot expect to overcome our weaknesses if we pretend they don’t exist. Also, trying to cope with our own weaknesses by highlighting the weaknesses of others is common (and may seem helpful for a while) but will never help us accomplish our goals. Also, if our goals are being motivated more by what others think about us than our own self-awareness we may be disappointed even though we are successful.

No doubt many of the changes we would like to make in this New Year are recurring from past years. If this is the case, sit down and try to list all the reasons why you may have failed to reach your goal in the past. If there are certain weaknesses that seem to always set you back, try to change the circumstances that highlight these weaknesses. Here are some questions to ask yourself (and be honest with your responses):

• Why do I give in to these weaknesses?

• Is it my fault or just my reality?

• What definite steps can I begin today to help me “Overcome” these weaknesses?

• How long should it take before I see progress?

Another important step in overcoming our weaknesses is to disarm the ones that have defeated us in the past. These weaknesses may hold our past failures over our head. This creates the fatalistic conclusion that we can’t change the way we have always been. Any negative influence our past mistakes or weaknesses may hold over us are self-inflicted.

The major change that we have longed for is closer than we think. Once we acknowledge our weaknesses, disarm them, and chart a plan to overcome them, we are on our way to making our dreams become reality! While merely thinking we can make it will not get us to our destination, how we think is critically important.

"Resolve" Insurance -- Article Two

2. Determine Your Resolve

Have you ever noticed that the word “Resolution” comes from the term “Resolve?” Actually, a “Resolution” is a clearly communicated destination (or “Goal”) that the author is very serious about achieving. Resolutions can be made by individuals and groups. I think one of the primary reasons why most people have failed in the past is that they really didn’t make “New Year’s Resolutions.” In reality, most of us just share our ‘wish list’ about what we would like to change about ourselves but we are not really serious enough to do what it takes for these changes to become a reality.

Before we take the time to write down a goal or resolution and share it with someone else, I think we need to be honest about how committed we are to making it happen. I guess you could say that we need to pre-determine how hard we are willing to work so that our “Goals” can be attained. Someone has said that “nothing worthwhile is easy.” This is probably true for most of us. If getting in shape were as easy as the “Diet Industry” claims then there would be no need for a “Diet Industry.”

When our “Resolve” or “Commitment” level is LOW then the distance between where we are and where we want to be will seem insurmountable. Even if we start well, discouragement will make it even harder to stay on track. There are going to be times when the only thing that will motivate us to keep on working towards our goal will be our “RESOLVE.”

Strengthening our “RESOLVE” is necessary to assist us in making our goals a reality. But, how can we strengthen our “RESOLVE?” One thing we need to articulate is the primary reasons for working hard to achieve our goal. For example, if our goal is to lose weight, we can strengthen our resolve to do what is required by thinking about all the benefits of being in better physical shape. For example, our health care will be simplified; we will gain confidence among our peers (as well as encourage others who have similar goals); and we will have more quality time to spend with our loved ones. We only have one body and we owe it to our God, our loved ones and certainly ourselves to take good care of it! How’s your resolve?

Resolve Insurance - Article One

1. Identify Your Destination

It is very hard to know how to get somewhere if we are not sure where we are trying to go. Can you imagine stopping to ask for directions without being able to tell the person where you want to go! It is just as ludicrous to try and accomplish something positive in our lives if we are not sure exactly what it is that we would like to accomplish. Making a plan for accomplishing our goal is directly linked to the specifics concerning our destination.

For example, if you want to lose weight (which seems to be at the top of a lot of people’s ‘wish list’) then it is important to first of all determine how much we would like to lose. It is also helpful to determine the reason we want to lose. If we just want to drop those few pounds so our swimsuit will fit better in May then it may be hard to say no to that piece of chocolate cake. But, if our primary motivation is health-related or that we are just tired of being overweight, our “Resolve” to achieve our goals will be stronger and saying no to the cake will become a matter of the will instead of a battle with your saliva glands.

Deciding on our “Destination” (i.e. Goal) may require us to take some serious time for thoughtful reflection. We need to look honestly at our current status, take responsibility for the reason we are where we are, and then start imagining what it would be like to live out our dreams. I do think it is important for us to have a clear picture in our God-given imaginations of us actually living our dream. While I do not enjoy the driving distance it takes to get to Destin, Florida; my continual thoughts about the gorgeous blue water and white, fluffy sand on the beaches makes the drive bearable!

Let me encourage you to determine your destination and then write it down. If you are really serious about accomplishing your Goals, it is helpful to share what you are striving for with someone you can trust. There’s no better asset for working hard and staying on track with our dreams than having some accountability. It is easy for me to go ahead and eat that piece of pie, rationalizing that I can ‘work it off’ in the gym. But, when my wife sees me heading for the pie, her look can help me find the strength to say no.

"Resolve" Insurance

On January 1, 2011 I wrote the following in my personal journal: “Today is New Year’s Day. As ‘days’ are measured, this is considered to be a very important day. Somehow we are made to believe that what we do with this “DAY” can influence the 364 days of this ‘New Year’ that follow…The older I get, the more I seem to focus on how differently things happen than what I hope or plan for. It seems that THE ONLY CERTAINTY IN LOOKING TO A NEW YEAR ARE ALL THE UNCERTAINTIES THAT AWAIT US!!...The best preparation we can make is somehow to insure ourselves against these unexpected stimuli that will obviously come. While we can’t insulate ourselves from the reality of painful situations (nor can we deny them), we can prepare ourselves with certain ‘Navigational Skills’ to help us continue towards our destination (or resolutions, goals, etc.)”

I am a firm believer in the importance of setting personal goals. Goals should be realistic, challenging, well thought out, and consider both long-term and short-term ambitions. Having clearly stated goals are the basis of any accomplishment we might achieve in our lives. As we take the time to think through these “Goals” (or “Resolutions”), there should be a dual sense of things we would like to do or experience as well as making a positive difference in the part of the world where we live.

On the first Sunday of this New Year I asked the small group of Christ-Followers where I teach each week to share some of their resolutions with me. Surprisingly, no one made any indication that they even bothered to make any resolutions. While a couple of people finally admitted that they were striving to make some positive change, the consensus of the majority was that they no longer strive to make any “Resolutions” because they never keep them! This is a very serious situation when looking at it psychologically. We will leave that for the professionals. What this little exercise did for me was to make me sit down and think about some simple, practical ways to help us “regular folks” stick to our goals or resolutions. The following posts in the next several days represents my ideas for “Insuring” our Resolve – to Make it happen! I hope you have some kind of "methodology" for sticking to your goals. I would love to hear about them.